What is your favorite Homer Simpson quote?

Simpsons FAQ | 15.10.2010 3:00 | 17 Comments

Or quotes if you have more than one.
Five of my favorites:

I’m not outta order! You’re outta order! The whole freakin’ system’s outta order! You want the truth? You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth! ‘Cause when you reach over and stick your hand into a pile of goo that used to be your best friend’s face, you’ll know what to do! Forget it, Marge — it’s Chinatown!

I can’t live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors – oh, I’ll never be the darling of the so-called city fathers, who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about what’s to be done with this Homer Simpson?!

I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals faa-laming.

Dear Homer, IOU one emergency donut. Signed Homer. Bastard! He’s always one step ahead.

I wonder where Bart is, his dinner’s getting all cold… and eaten.

17 Comments on “What is your favorite Homer Simpson quote?”

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Fat tony

15.10.2010 3:57

Doh

™?issy Angel

15.10.2010 4:04

Homers computer quotes are my favorite
“they have porn on the internet now”
“wheres the ANY key”

peace_world_tour

15.10.2010 4:49

Moe is their leader… said by Homer while watching the 3 stooges

Blade B. Sharp

15.10.2010 5:26

Call Mr. Plow, that’s my name. That name again is Mr. Plow.

love_itself

15.10.2010 5:58

Why do we need a phsychaitrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
Kill my boss? Do I dare to live out the American dream?
Hey, look at this! I am a weiner. Heh heh, he sure is!
Kill myself? Killing myself is the last thing I’d ever do. Now I have a purpose. A reason to live. I don’t care who I have to face, I don’t care who I have to fight, I will not rest until this street gets a stop sign!
D’oh!
I AM SO SMART! I AM SO SMART! I AM SO SMART! S-M-R-T, I mean S-M-A-R-T!
(After being caught trying to smuggle a baby panda) But he loves me! (Panda bites him) OW!! Why you endangered you… (begins to strangle the panda)
Operator! Give me the number for 911!
Marge, let me handle this. Drunken hicks of the jury…
It’s true…I’m a rageaholic! I just can’t live without rageahol!

harley

15.10.2010 6:02

no beer or tv make homer go something someting

hilton14620

15.10.2010 6:18

doh!!!!!! dohnuts!! doh!!!! bacon!! doh!!!!!! pizzaa!!!!!!! boy i’ll kill you.

gladerade

15.10.2010 6:33

here are a few of my favorites (there are so many great ones to choose from)

All right, brain. You don’t like me and I don’t like you, but let’s just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.

Bart, a woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you’d step over your own mother just to get one!

Donuts. Is there anything they can’t do?

If something is to hard to do, then it’s not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we’ll go inside and watch TV.

Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman –and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.

No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don’t like their jobs, they don’t go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed.

This perpetual motion machine she made is a joke: It just keeps going faster and faster. Lisa, get in here! In this house, we obey the laws of THERMODYNAMICS!

You’ll have to speak up, I’m wearing a towel.

anonymouslycurious

15.10.2010 7:24

“I take a whiskey drink I take a vodka drink and when I have to pee I pee in the kitchen sink”

anangelinhiding

15.10.2010 8:22

Ham – Bacon – Pork – All from one animal.

mmmmm the pig one magical animal

sagebella

15.10.2010 8:52

–Sorry everybody Can not add to this list, but Wow did it make good reading! Matt Groenig and crew really have something special.

Methlehem

15.10.2010 9:22

“I used to believe in things when I was a kid.” – Homer Simpson

This is from the “Lisa the Vegetarian,” episode.

Dreamgurl

15.10.2010 10:20

If God didn’t intend for us to eat them, then why’d he fill them with meat? – Homer Simpson

Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand. – Homer Simpson

I am so smart! S-M-R-T! – Homer Simpson

Answer-Me-This

15.10.2010 11:05

Lisa: Dad, that’s stupid.

Homer: Stupid like a FOX!

Sonic the Hedgehog

15.10.2010 11:38

“You’ve probably heard a lot of bad things about families come first, but newspaper writers are a bunch of jerks. Who really opposes families come first? Many childless advocates are like Ben Affleck. Famous, successful people from ‘OUT OF STATE!’ They live in fancy houses and other places. Families come first is supported by lifelong Springfieldians you know and trust. Like me, and Milhouse’s dad, Bumblebee Man, Surly Duff, and that jerk that goes “Ayeeeeesssss!” For more information, visit our website http://www.aljazeera.com. We’re not affiliated, we’re just piggybacking on their message board. I am Rudy Giuliani, do as I command you! I am Rudy Giuliani, do as I command youuuu!

forty_two

15.10.2010 11:54

“Homer’s Odyssey”. Oh, is this the story of my last minivan?

[family leaves church, Apocalypse is happening]
Mmmm! Smells like barbeque!

scarletlolly

15.10.2010 12:37

good question..!
mine’s doh!!!
or is it dope?

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