The Simpsons

“I’m not normally a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman!” – Homer Simpson

“Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.” – Homer Simpson

“When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!” – Homer Simpson

“You tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is: never try.” – Homer Simpson

“Relax. What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind!” – Homer Simpson

“Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that.” – Homer Simpson

“Bart, with $10,000, we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!” – Homer Simpson

“”Let’s just say that on this day, a million years ago, a dude was born who most of us think was magic. But others don’t, and that’s cool. But we’re probably right. Amen.” – Homer Simpson” – Homer Simpson

“Apu I need a keg and a six pack to hold me until I tap the keg.” – Homer Simpson

“No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don’t like their jobs, they don’t go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed.” – Homer Simpson

“Alright Brain, you don’t like me, and I don’t like you. But lets just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.” – Homer Simpson

“Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose; it’s how drunk you get.” – Homer Simpson

“If at first you don’t succeed, give up.” – Homer Simpson

“Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.” – Homer Simpson

“I’m in a place where I don’t know where I am!” – Homer Simpson

“’To Start Press Any Key’. Where’s the ANY key?” – Homer Simpson